大佬们，可以帮忙点评这篇英语作文嘛，求求了☺️
时间: 2023-01-26 11:03:21 | 来源: 喜蛋文章网 | 编辑: admin | 阅读: 94次
求高手给我点评一下英语作文（两个首段）
Recently, we often hear that many college students have mental problems. It is common that mental health played an important role in students’ daily life. It caused a hot discussion in how to improve students’ mental health.rn-----------------------------------------------------------rnWith the development of social and technology, e-books are more and more popular in people’s daily life. We can reading by e-books almost everywhere at any time because e-books can designed in mp3,mp4, mobilephone and the like.这2段写的很好，也用了很多亮点加分词汇，像定语从句，还有发挥了重要的作用（play an important part）等等、
不过给点小建议：第一段的第一句，we often hear that （我们经常听说），这句有一点中国式英语。
可以尝试修改成：近年来，根据心理学家的统计数据来看，越来越多的学生。。。 Recently，according to the psychologist's statistical data
小建议，请自己斟酌，呵呵、
不过给点小建议：第一段的第一句，we often hear that （我们经常听说），这句有一点中国式英语。
可以尝试修改成：近年来，根据心理学家的统计数据来看，越来越多的学生。。。 Recently，according to the psychologist's statistical data
小建议，请自己斟酌，呵呵、
国外的老师很不喜欢Recently,和 daily life.
还好还好 但要注意用词恰当
请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级英语作文（语法、用词）万分感谢
1：越来越多的人使用信用卡，信用卡有哪些好处？rn2：信用卡的弊端rn3：你自己的观点rnrnrn Credit Cardsrn Nowadays,more and more people use credit cards instead of carrying a large of money.In fact,there are both advantages and disadvantages in using credit cards .Generally speaking,itx27s widely believed there are several positive aspects as follows .Firstly,the people use credit card without a large of money,itx27s very convenient and safe.And secondly,more and more customers use credit cards can reduce amount of work to the workers who work in a supermarket or a restaurant.rn Just as a popular saying goes,"every coins has two sides",using credit cards is no exception,and in another word,it still has negative aspects .To begin with ,if you lose your card ,it put you to trouble and you must go to the bank to apply for a new card.In addition ,many thieves make use of it to cheat the people ,and many people lose much money.rn For my part,I think we should try to bring the advantages of using credit cards into full play ,and reduce the disadvantages to the minimum at the same time.Nowadays,more and more people use credit cards instead of carrying a large AMOUNT OF CASH, 没有说a large of money的，后面也有 Firstly,the people use credit card without a large of money, 不过这句意思上也有点怪 我猜你是说拿了信用卡就不用带大量现金了 首先people 前不用the，when people use credit cards instead of cash,it's more convenient and safe，然后。。。more and more customers use credit cards can reduce...有问题,using吧, ...FOR the workers
总体来说一般。四级作文最基本的要求就是要尽量用四级词汇。然后是你的句子开头结尾要好，必须有一些长句子，不能总是像高中那样平叙
厉害~~~语法没有错~~~句子也很通顺
是篇不错的英语作文
是篇不错的英语作文
求大神点评英语作文。
要求写关于大学生打工的看法。求各种指出错误，求各种喷。 rnNowadays, more and more college students are studying with a part-time job. Some of them, who choose to find a job when they are having classes at the same time, need to earn their living by themselves because of some family problems like cannot afford the fare. But most of the students only want to save experience. Is there any benefit of having a job during college life?rn In my opinion, we should think about it on both sides, in a word, there do exist some benefits about it, while detects can also be seen. Finding and having a job after classes, giving students more chance to have contact with outer world and people, and also broadening their horizon, leading them to prepare to get into our society. But on the other hand, part-time jobs may take them a lot of time to finish, let them feel more pressed, finally, it can have a bad effect ion on their study.rn As a college student, especially a student in clinical chemical school, I think we are too busy to have a job while we are studying. If we just want to get some money in our jobs, we will lose much more important things like time and energy. Part-time job is just for these students who have a lot of spare time and fewer classes.如今，越来越多的大学生有兼职工作研究。他们中的一些人，谁选择了找工作的时候，他们是在同一时间上课，需要自己来赚取他们的生活，因为一些家庭问题如不能负担费用。但大多数学生只想拯救的经验。有任何利益，在大学生活有一份工作？在我看来，我们应该想想它两边，一句话，确实存在一些关于它的好处，同时检测也可以看到。发现和班后有一份工作，给学生更多的机会与外部世界和人接触，并拓宽他们的视野，使他们准备进入我们的社会。但另一方面，兼职工作可能需要很长时间来完成，让他们感受到更多的压力，最后，它能够对他们的学习效果差的离子。作为一个大学生，尤其是在临床化学学校的一名学生，我认为我们很忙，有一份工作在研究。如果我们想在我们的工作得到一些钱，我们将失去更多的时间和精力的事情一样重要。部分时间的工作，仅仅是这些学生有很多的空闲时间和更少的类。
中规中矩 不错就好
中规中矩 不错就好
part-time jobs而不是a part-time job
Some of them, who choose to work while having classes. 简练性很重要
earn a living而不是earn their living
some financial problems而不是some family problems
fare要改成school fees
save experience??? 得到经验？？是gain experience
any benefits而不是any benefit
we should think about it on both sides, think about可以用consider
it does have benefits
detects? defects
outer world---> challenging society
take them a lot of time to finish -----> take up lots of study hours and distract them from their studies
bad effect ------> negative impacts
on their study ------> on their studies
in clinical chemical school -----> in a clinical chemical school
I think we are too busy to have a job while we are study -----> I think it is too busy for us to have part-time jobs while studying
lose much more important things ------> waste our precious time and energy on things that are not so important
Part-time job is just for these students ----- Part-time jobs are for students who have lots of leisure time....
大体一看就这些需要改进的地方，观点还OK
Some of them, who choose to work while having classes. 简练性很重要
earn a living而不是earn their living
some financial problems而不是some family problems
fare要改成school fees
save experience??? 得到经验？？是gain experience
any benefits而不是any benefit
we should think about it on both sides, think about可以用consider
it does have benefits
detects? defects
outer world---> challenging society
take them a lot of time to finish -----> take up lots of study hours and distract them from their studies
bad effect ------> negative impacts
on their study ------> on their studies
in clinical chemical school -----> in a clinical chemical school
I think we are too busy to have a job while we are study -----> I think it is too busy for us to have part-time jobs while studying
lose much more important things ------> waste our precious time and energy on things that are not so important
Part-time job is just for these students ----- Part-time jobs are for students who have lots of leisure time....
大体一看就这些需要改进的地方，观点还OK
嗯，还可以
文章标题: 大佬们，可以帮忙点评这篇英语作文嘛，求求了☺️
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