能批改一下我的英语作文吗

pervious 是previous ，
already hinder man society developing /The nature dynamic balance 等 中式英语很多
For example,population exploring,the lack of source 语法有问题缺少冠词
.It's solution lies in each one should nation surroundings.语法，should后动词原形
无过渡，结构差，句子的表达能力很明显不跟你的单词量在一个水平上

人类生活在大自然的王国。他们总是被它包围,与之交互作用。总之,我们与自然的血缘关系,我们不能在外面住大自然。毫无疑问,大自然对我们很重要。但随着时间的推移,目前能接受的动态平衡在人与自然之间、自然和社会作为一个整体,表明不祥的打破的迹象。有越来越多的问题已经阻碍了人的社会逐步发展。例如,人口探索,缺乏源。动态平衡的自然分解。此外,全球变暖,物种灭绝的l大量物种和越来越多的人遭受了灾害的essitenal显示的都是环境保护。这个人自然关系的危机,生态状况是一个全球性的问题. .它的解决方案在于每个人应该国家环境。这是我们的责任,虽然我们不能阻止悲剧我们可以适度至少

你想怎么个改法

I feel so honored to win the English competition that I can’t help sharing my experience in learning English.
Actually, there are a number of ways for us to improve our English. As far as I’m concerned, I wonder that it is essential for us to keep doing the following three points. To begin with, it’s beneficial to take part in the English Center because we can improve our English while feeling relaxed. In addition, keeping diary helps us to remember more words. The more words we learn, the easier we speak. What’s more, skimming English Websites is a good way to learn English. As a result, we can create a good language and learn a great deal of new words.
Taking into account of all factors, we may reach the conclusion that if we can keep the previous ways, our English will be better soon,
总体来说，你写的作文还是很不错的。有几个地方不是很理解，所以按自己的理解改了一下。BECAUSE必须有逗号存在，作为一个句子的一部分。组合句式的话就是考语法或者是语感。多读读书就会有感觉了。

one of my stories
i am a high school student and have studied in the young school for almost two years which set up only for three years.when i first entered the school,i had made five friends ,moreover,all of them lived in the same dormitory with me.it made me happy that i had never made so many friends,i sensed i was the happiest person in the world at that time.
three years ago,i failed the exam,entrance for senior-level middle school.only 539 grades in such important examination,thus i couldn't attend the key high school.however,my parents always comforted me for my failure,mom told;i think u are great!u are fond of painting ,dream of entering in a great arts college,they cost your much time so u have no enough time to review.i am happy with your achivement now.just take it easy.don't worry about it.;
afterwards,i came here,an art high school.now,my new life is advancing me...

有些散，总体来说不错，建议你举个例子，否则就换个题目。我是个英语老师，打分的话， 90吧

不错啊