Real fight between couple: they ask for freedom

　　OSHO, 

　　Why is it I feel fully alive only when I am in love? I tell myself that be able to spark myself w the other, but so far no luck. 

　　Is this some stupid “waiting for Godot” game I am playing with myself? When the last love affair ended to myself I was not going to let the same ol process happen, but here I am again feeling half alive, waiting for him to come.

　　奥修，

　　为什么只有在爱里我才感到充满活力？我告诉自己，即便没有对方，我也应该能够鼓舞自己，但到目前为止我并不走运。

　　我是在跟自己玩愚蠢的“等待戈多”游戏吗？上一段爱情结束时，我对自己发誓，我不会让这种死气沉沉的过程再次发生，但在这里，我又觉得自己半死不活了，在等着他回来。

　　奥修（OSHO）:

　　rem Idama, ONE REMAINS in the need of the other to that point, up to that experience, when one enters into one’s own core. Unless one knows oneself one remains in the need of the other. But the need of the other is very para; its nature is para.

　　rem Idama（提问者），在一个人进入自己内在最深处的核心之前，他总是需要对方。除非一个人知道自己，否则他会始终需要对方。但对对方的需要是非常矛盾的，它的本质就是矛盾的。

　　When you are alone you feel lonely, you feel the other is missed; your life seems to be only half. It loses joy, it loses flow, flowering; it remains un. 

　　一个人时，你觉得孤独，你觉得缺少了对方，你的生命看起来只有一半。它失去了喜悦，它失去了流动和盛开，它始终缺乏滋养。

　　If you are with the other, then a new problem arises because the other starts encroaching on your space. He starts making con upon you, he starts things from you, he starts your freedom – and that hurts.

　　如果你跟别人在一起，接着新的问题出现了，因为对方开始侵犯你的空间。他开始规定你要这样那样，他开始对你有所要求，他开始摧毁你的自由——那令人心痛。

　　o when you are with somebody, only for a few days when the honeymoon is still there... and the more you are, the smaller will be the honeymoon, remember. Only for utterly stup it can be a long affair; people it can he a l thing. 

　　所以当你跟别人在一起时，只有几天时间，当蜜月期还没结束……你越聪明，蜜月期就越短，记住。只有对于那些愚蠢透顶的人来说，它才能是一段长久的爱情。对于不敏锐的人，它可以是一辈子的事。

　　ut if you are , sensitive, soon you will realize that what you have done. The other is your freedom, an you become aware that you need your freedom because freedom is of value. And you never to bother with the other.

　　但是如果你聪明、敏锐，很快你会意识到自己做了什么。对方在摧毁你的自由，突然你意识到你需要自己的自由，因为自由弥足珍贵。你决定永远都不要为对方而烦心。

　　Again when you are alone you are free, but something is m – because your aloneness is not true aloneness; it is only loneliness, it is a negative state. You forget all about freedom. Free you are, but what to do with this freedom? Love is not there, and both are essential needs.

　　再一次，一个人时你觉得自由，但缺少了某些东西——因为你的单独并非真正的单独，它只是孤独而已，它是一种消极的状态。你把自由忘的一干二净。你是自由了，但你要拿这份自由干什么？没有爱在。爱和自由都是根本需求。

　　And up to now humanity has lived in such an way that you can fulfill only one nee you can be free, but then you have to drop the idea of love... 

　　直到目前，人类活在非常疯狂，以至于你只能满足一个需求：要么你自由，但这样的话你必须放下爱的想法……

　　That’s what monks and nuns of all the rel have been doing: drop the idea of love, you are free; there is nobody to hinder you, there is nobody to with you, nobody to make any , nobody to possess you. But then their life becomes cold, almost dead.

　　这就是宗教里和尚、尼姑们一直在做的，放下爱的想法，你自由了，没有人会妨碍你，没有人会干涉你，没有人会对你发号施令，没有人会占有你。但紧接着，他们的生命变得冷酷，奄奄一息。

　　You can go to any monastery and look at the monks and the nuns: their life is ugly. It stinks of death; it is not fragrant with life. There is no dance, no joy, no song. All songs have , all joy is dead. 

　　你可以去任何寺院，看一看那些和尚尼姑：他们的生命是丑陋的。它散发着死亡的腐臭，它没有生命的芬芳。没有舞蹈，没有喜悦，没有歌。所有的歌都消失了，所有的喜悦都死了。

　　They are paralyzed – how they can dance? They are cr – how they can dance? There is nothing to dance about. Their energies are stuck, they are no more flowing. For the flow the other is needed; w the other there is no flow.

　　他们是麻痹的——他们怎么能跳的起舞来？他们是残废的——他们怎么能跳的起舞来？没有什么是好庆祝和舞蹈的。他们的能量卡住了，他们不再流动。要流动，对方是需要的，没有对方就没有流动。

　　And the majority of humanity has for love an the idea of freedom. Then people are living like slaves. Man has reduced the woman into a thing, a commodity, and of course the woman has done the same in her own subtle way: she has made all the husbands henpecked.

　　绝大多数人决定要爱，他们放弃了自由的想法。他们活的跟奴隶一样。男人已经把女人贬成了东西，一件商品，当然女人也巧妙的对男人做了同样的事：她把所有的丈夫都变成了妻管严（怕老婆的男人）。

　　I have heard: In New York a few henpecke joine together. They made a club to protest, to fight – Men’s L Movement, or something like that! And of course they chose one of the most henpecke the president of the club.

　　我听说：纽约一些妻管严联合起来，他们组建了一个俱乐部来抗议、斗争——他们搞起了男人解放运动，诸如此类。当然，他们选了一个最怕老婆的男人出任俱乐部主席。

　　The first meeting happened, but the president never Turned up. They were all worried. They all rushed to his home and they asked him, ”What is the matter? Have you forgotten?”

　　首次会谈开始了，但主席没有出现。他们都很担心。他们冲到他家，问他，“到底怎么了？你忘了吗？”

　　He said, “No, but my wife won’t allow me. She says,‘You go out, and I will never allow you in!’ And that much risk take.”

　　他说，“没有，但我老婆不让我去。她说，‘你要是敢出门，就永别别回来！’那个风险我可承受不起。”

　　I have hear the doors of paradise there are two boards – there are two doors in fact. On one board is written: ”Those who are henpecke stand here.” This is the door for them, and the other is for those few rare human beings who are not henpecked. 

　　我听说天堂的大门上有两块牌子——事实上有两个门。一个牌子上写着，“妻管严站这里。”这是为他们准备的门，另一扇门是给那些不是妻管严的极少数人准备的。

　　t. Peter has been waiting an that some day somebody will turn who will stand on the other door which is not meant for the hen-pecked ones, but nobody ever stood on that gate.

　　圣彼得一直在等，有一天不是妻管严的人会站在另一扇门前，但至今还没有人站在那扇门前。

　　One day St. Peter was surprised: a very small, thin, weak man came an there. Peter was puzzled, amazed. He asked the man, ”Can you read?”

　　有一天圣彼得很惊讶：一个非常矮小瘦弱的人站过来了。彼得很困惑很惊讶。他问那个男人，“你识字吗？”

　　He said, ”Yes, I can read – I am a Ph.D., a professor of ph!”

　　他说，“是的，我识字，我是一个哲学教授。”

　　Then Peter said, ”This door is meant only for those who are not henpecke. Why you are standing here when the whole queue is standing at the other door?”

　　圣彼得说，“这扇门只为那些不怕老婆的人而开。大家都站在另一扇门前，为什么你要站在这里？”

　　He said, ”What can I do? My wife has told me to stand here! And even if GOD says to me, leave this place unless my wife allows!”

　　他说，“我有什么办法。我老婆让我站这里！即便上帝要对我发话，我也不能离开这个地方，除非我老婆允许！”

　　Man has reduce into a slave and the woman has reduced man into a slave. And of course both hate the slavery, both resist it. They are constantly f; any small excuse and the fight starts.

　　男人把女人贬成了奴隶，女人也把男人贬成了奴隶。当然他们都憎恨被奴役，他们都抵抗。他们吵个不停，只要有任何小借口，他们就开始吵。

　　ut the real fight is somewhere else deep down; the real fight is that they are asking for freedom.

　　但真正的争吵/冲突在某些深层的地方，真正的冲突在于他们在要求自由。

　　They cannot say it so clearly, they may have forgotten completely. For thousands of years this is the way people have lived. They have seen their father an mother have lived the same way, they have seen their gran have lived in the same way... this is the way people live – they have accepted it. Their freedom is .

　　他们没办法这么清晰的说出来，他们或许已经完全忘记了。几千年年来，人们就是这样活的。他们看到自己的父亲，自己的母亲这样活，他们看到自己的祖父母这样活……人们就是这样活的，他们已经接受了这一点。他们的自由被摧毁了。

　　It is as if we are trying to fly in the sky with one wing. Few people have the wing of love and a few people have the wing of freedom – both are of flying. Both the wings are needed.

　　那就像是，我们试图用一只翅膀飞进天空。极少人有爱的翅膀，极少人有自由的翅膀——这两个翅膀都能飞，但两个翅膀都是需要的。

　　Idama, you say: WHY IS IT I FEEL FULLY ALIVE ONLY WHEN L AM IN LOVE?

　　Idama，你说，“为什么只有在爱里我才感到充满活力？”

　　It is perfectly natural, there is nothing wrong in it. It is how it should be. Love is a natural need; it is like food. If you are hungry, of course you will feel a deep unease. W love your soul is hungry; love is a soul nour. 

　　这再自然不过，它没有任何错。它就是这样。爱是一种自然的需要，它就像食物。如果你饿了，当然你会感到非常不自在。没有爱，你的灵魂也会挨饿，爱是灵魂的滋养。

　　Just as body needs food, water, air, the soul needs love. But the soul also needs freedom, and it is one of the most strange things that we have not accepted this fact yet.

　　就像身体需要食物、水、空气，灵魂需要爱。但灵魂也需要自由，最奇怪的是，我们还没有接受这一事实。

　　If you love there is no need to your freedom. They both can exist together; there is no antagonism between them. It is because of our fool that we have created the antagonism.

　　如果你爱，就没有摧毁你自由的必要。它们能共存，它们之前没有对抗。因为我们的愚蠢，我们制造出了对立。

　　Hence the monks think the worldly people are fools, and the worldly people deep down know that the monks are fools – they are m all the joys of life.

　　所以，和尚们认为世俗之人是傻瓜，世俗之人内心深处也知道，那些和尚是傻瓜——他们错过了生命的喜悦。

　　A great priest was asked, ”What is love?”

　　有人问一个伟大的牧师，“什么是爱？”

　　The priest said, ”A word made up of two vowels, two consonants and two fools!”

　　牧师说，“它是一个由两个元音、两个辅音、两个白痴组成的单词。”

　　That is their con of love. Because all the rel have con love; they have praise very much. In India we call the ultimate experience MOKSHA; MOKSHA means absolute freedom.

　　这是他们在谴责爱。因为所有的宗教都谴责爱，他们非常赞扬自由。在印度，我们称那终极的体验为莫克夏，莫克夏的意思是绝对的自由。

　　You say: I TELL MYSELF THAT BE ABLE TO SPARK MYSELF W THE OTHER, BUT SO FAR NO LUCK.

　　你说，“我告诉自己，即便没有对方，我也应该能够鼓舞自己，但到目前为止我并不走运。”

　　It will remain so, it will not change. You shoul change your con about love an. Love the person, but give the person total freedom. Love the person, but from the very beg make it clear that you are not selling your freedom.

　　它会一直这样，它不会改变的。相反，你应该改变你对爱与自由的制约。爱他，但也给他完全的自由。爱他，但从一开始就讲清楚，你不会出卖自己的自由。

　　And if you cannot make it happen in THIS commune, here with me, you cannot make it happen anywhere else. This is the beg of a new humanity. Of course it is only a seed now, but soon you will see it will grow in a vast tree. 

　　如果你不能让它在这个社区，在我身边发生，你在任何别处也无法让它发生。这是一个新人类的开始。当然现在它还只是一颗种子，但很快你就会看到，它会长成一颗参天大树。

　　ut we are exper upon many things. One of the of our experiment is to make love an possible together, their coex together. 

　　但我们正在很多事情上实验。我们的一个实验是，让爱与自由在一起变得可能，让它们共存。

　　Love a person but don’t possess, and don’t be possessed. for freedom, and don’t lose love! There is no need. There is no natural enmity between freedom and love; it is a create. Of course for centuries it has been so, so you have become accustome it; it has become a con thing.

　　爱一个人，但不要占有他，也不要被占有。坚持自由，但不要失去爱！没必要。爱跟自由之间没有天然的敌意。敌意是人为的。当然千百年来它一直如此，所以你已经习惯于它了，它已经被制约了。

　　An ol down South coul speak above a whisper. Leaning on a fence by the side of a country road he was watching a dozen razorbacks in a patch of woodland. Every few m the hogs woul through a hole in the fence, tear across the road to another patch of woodland, an afterwar back again.

　　一个南下的老农民讲话很小声，他大声不了。靠在乡村马路边的围栏上，他看着森林里的一帮野猪。每过几分钟，那帮野猪就会从围栏的洞里钻过去，横穿马路来到另一片森林，然后又马上跑回去。

　　”What’s the matter with them hogs anyway?” a passing stranger asked.

　　“那些猪到底怎么了？”一个路过的陌生人问。

　　”There ain’t nothing the matter with them,” the ol wh hoarsely. ”Them hogs belongs to me an I lost my voice I used to call them to their feed. After I lost my voice I used to tap on this fence rail with my stick at feeding time.”

　　“没什么，”老农民嘶哑的低声说到。“那些猪是我的，失声之前，我经常喊它们吃饭。失声后，喂饭的时候我经常用拐杖敲这个围栏。”

　　He paused an his hea. ”And now,” he added, ”them cusse up in them trees has got them poor hogs plumb crazy!”

　　他停下来，沉重的摇头，“现在，”他补充到，“树上那些该死的啄木鸟已经把这些可怜的猪给逼疯了。”

　　Just a con! NOW THOSE WOO ARE THEM HOGS PLUMB CRAZY – because when they do the knocking they rush, th that it is food time.

　　只是一个制约！现在那些啄木鸟在把那些野猪逼疯——因为当它们啄木头时，猪就开始狂奔，它们以为到吃饭时间了。

　　That’s what is happening to humanity.

　　这就是发生在人类身上的事情。

　　One of the of Pavlov, the founder of the con reflex – the of the theory of the con reflex – was trying an experiment on the same lines. He bought a puppy an to con him to stand up and bark for his food. He held the pup’s food just out of reach, barked a few times, then set it on the floor before him. The idea was that the pup woul standing up an with getting his food an to do so when hungry.

　　条件反射之父、条件反射理论发现者巴普洛夫的一个学生，正在做同样的实验。他买了一只小狗，决定制约它站起来、叫唤食物。他把狗粮拿在手里，让它够不到，他学狗叫了几下后，就把狗粮放在面前的地板上。他想着，小狗会把站立跟叫唤食物联系在一起，学会每次饿了就这样做。

　　This went on for about a week, but the little dog failed to learn. After another week the man gave up the experiment an put the food down before the dog, but the pup refused to eat it. He was waiting for his master to stand and bark! Now he ha con.

　　这持续了大概一个礼拜，但小狗没学会。又过了一周后，这个人放弃了实验，直接把狗粮放在小狗面前，但小狗不吃。它在等着主人站起来学狗叫！现在他被制约了。

　　It is only a con, it can be . Just you need, Idama, a little me. Me simply means the process of uncon the mind. Whatsoever the society has done has to be undone. 

　　这只是一个制约，你可以放下它。Idama，你只需要一点点静心的品质。静心指的是解除头脑制约的过程。无论社会做了什么，你都必须将其去除。

　　When you are uncon you will be able to see the beauty of love an together; they are two aspects of the same coin. If you really love the person you will give him or her absolute freedom – that’s a gift of love. And when there is freedom, love responds tremen.

　　当你解除了制约，你就能够看到爱与自由在一起的美，它们是同一枚硬币的两面。如果你真的爱对方，你会给他/她完全的自由——那是爱的礼物。有了自由，爱就会极为回应。

　　When you give freedom to somebody you have given the greatest gift, and love comes rushing towards you.

　　当你给予别人自由，你给的是最大的礼物，爱会涌向你。

　　You ask me: IS THIS SOME STUPID ”WAITING for GODOT” GAME I AM PLAYING WITH MYSELF?

　　你问我，“我是在跟自己玩愚蠢的“等待戈多”游戏吗？”

　　o, Idama.

　　不是，Idama。

　　WHEN THE LAST LOVE AFFAIR ENDED, TO MYSELF I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THE SAME OL PROCESS HAPPEN, BUT HERE I AM AGAIN FEELING HALF ALIVE, WAITING FOR HIM TO COME.

　　上一段爱情结束时，我对自己发誓，我不会让这种死气沉沉的过程再次发生，但在这里，我又觉得自己半死不活了，在等着他回来。

　　ut just by swearing, just by , you cannot change yourself. You have to un. Love is a basic need, as basic as freedom, so both have to be fulfilled. 

　　只是发誓，只是下决心，你改变不了自己。你必须明白，爱是一个基本需要，跟自由一样基本，所以两者都必须得到满足。

　　And a man who is full of love AND free is the most beautiful phenomenon in the world. And when two persons of such beauty meet, their relat is not a relat at all. It is a relating. It is a constant, r flow. It is cont growing towards greater heights.

　　一个充满爱与自由的人，是世上最美的现象。当两个这么美的人相遇，他们的关系根本不是一段关系。它是连接，它是一个持续的、如河流般的流动。它持续的流向更高处。

　　The ultimate height of love an is the experience of God. In God you will find both: tremendous love, absolute love, an freedom.

　　爱与自由的终极高度，是神的体验。在神里你会发现这两者：无限的爱，绝对的爱，绝对的自由。

　　摘自：OSHO I Am That

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